Kick for the seagulls

It’s Monday morning and that means it’s time to devour every inch of The Australian’s Media Section. Media is a ‘can’t miss’ for Litres of Ink and in today’s issue James Chessell has offered up a corker of a yarn.

In Seagulls disrupt the Footy at MCG, Chessell takes a look at the influx of seagulls come game time and the occupational hazards wildlife present for athletes and sportscasters.

Throughout the 2010 season many close observers of Australian Rules Football in Melbourne have noticed unusually large flocks of seagulls congregating around the ground during night matches.

Attracted by a combination of lights, insects and a large expanse of green grass, the common silver gull has been a regular visitor to the MCG over the years. But this season the birds have shown a particular enthusiasm for football...

Wildlife is an occupational hazard for sportspeople and broadcasters alike.

In a World Cup qualifier against Uzbekistan in September 2008, Socceroos captain Lucas Neil risked the wrath of animal rights activists when he accidentally kicked the ball into an injured bird that was having trouble vacating the field.

Seagulls have held up the bowler or collided with balls on the cricket field. Major League baseball pitcher Randy "The Big Unit" Johnson once killed a dove when the bird swooped into the path of a fastball during a spring training game in 2001.

As a kid from the rugby league obsessed South West Slopes of NSW, I would watch the game and marvel at the language used to describe the ebbs and flows of the contest. My grandfather would mumble ‘kick for seagulls’ and I would laugh at the practicality of the metaphor, oblivious to the reference of kicking into open space.

Until today I was unaware of its origins, Chessell explains:

Nine's head of sport, Steve Crawley, notes that bird problems seem to be largely confined to Melbourne. "The ones up here (in Sydney) aren't causing as many problems," he says.

"In rugby league, the only reference to seagulls was the great Jack Gibson, who was the first supercoach. He used to tell Peter Stirling, who now works with us, to kick for the seagulls because that meant there was no one around there.

The vitality of a sport can often be measured by the affectionate colloquialisms or endearing tones of language used to describe it.

Each week ABC Grandstand commentator, David Morrow, illuminates the wireless with his depictions of rugby league play. And each week I get a shot of adrenaline as Morrow embeds himself in a sides’ attacking backline ball movement.

Morrow’s patented cry of ‘away-it-goes’ evokes pure excitement in the listener; as does his ability to make the player with possession the ruler of an Empire for the split second he handles the ball.

The absolution in Morrow's voice when a player crosses the line to score is intoxicating – it’s as if a try had never been scored before and somehow the moment had solved Greece's economic woes.

If co-commentator Warren ‘The Wok’ Ryan throws in a ’that’s two Meat-Pies for young [insert winger’s name]’, I know I have entered a state of aural bliss.

I’d love to hear from you about your favourite sporting colloquialisms; commentator quirks or localised nicknames.

If you think it’s worthy and can spare the ink please email your thoughts, opinions to litresofink@gmail.com